You think law school is bad? You don't know the half of it. || October

We all had this concept of law school; a wonderful place of higher learning where we, self-proclaimed geniuses, would assemble, receive an educational experience like no other, then go out and save the world single handedly. Yeah, I day-dreamed too. Reality is, this may have been the most insane, ill-advised, and outright poor choice you ever made. Why you ask? Allow me to explain, fellow masochists.

It begins with “law school subtraction;” the most intimidating thing to 1L’s. Its form is genius, simple, unforgiving, and may be the most concrete thing you learn in law school. Here’s how it works: while in class, look to your left, then your right. There is a good chance one of those people will not be here next year. That’s right, gone!

Then there are those malicious professors. Their need to embarrass you in front of your classmates, their ability to eliminate that self-proclaimed feeling of genius, and their seemingly never-ending drive to make 1L’s want to drop-out are just a few of their tenacious qualities. I’m sure many of my classmates cried themselves to sleep at night after being harassed by a professor during class.

Finally, the most deranged, scary, and insane part of law school; finals and the road leading to them. Picture a scenario where the California Gold Rush, WWE wrestling, city riots, and Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory all clash to form pandemonium; that’s the image of first year law school finals. You spend countless hours compiling endless notes from different sources to create your own outline, then go in search of an outline from a 2L or 3L and end up using that instead. You spend multiple hours reading supplements, going over them with classmates, and doing their practice questions, despite having been told by those malicious professors how worthless the materials are.

Then on the day of the final, after you’ve read your outline so many times that studying it is useless because it’s become a Dead Sea Scroll look-alike, you think you’re ready. You wear your lucky T-shirt, you find the perfect test taking seat (because the others have failure written all over them), you start up your computer, open ExamSoft, and then . . . your computer crashes. Let me say that I’ve seen people in stressful situations become unglued; the girl sitting next to me during the LSAT cried the whole time. There is no sight quite like an overworked, extremely caffeinated, sleep deprived, and malnourished law student being completely overcome with anxiety because their computer isn’t working before a final.

You open the packet, read it, and quickly determine that you have spent the last week cramming for the wrong exam. The exam’s scenario is the most ludicrous, unfortunate, and legal-ridden problem a person may encounter. Nevertheless, you finish the exam, go home to sleep, wake up, and realize you still have three more exams to go.

At the end of the day, law school isn’t so bad. Your classmates become your friends and remain your colleagues for years to come, and yes, the majority of the 1L class returns. The professors are great once you realize they have the best intentions for their students. Although there is a lot of reading that may seem tedious at first, you begin to gain an interest for certain issues. However, nothing I said about finals was a fabrication or exaggeration.

Consider yourself warned. Good luck.